Openly show affection when you are at home with your family. Allow your children, your parents, and your friends to see you touch, hug, and kiss. When you are out in public hold hands, hug, kiss, and touch each other. We are not advocating exhibitionistic displays of explicit sex, but a genuine disclosure of your sensual appreciation of each other. In whatever way is most comfortable for you, let your children know that you make love, that you thoroughly enjoy it, and that making love is normal, healthy, and beautiful. Allow for the possibility that they may hear you making love sometimes. Talk openly with your children about love and sex as soon as they show an interest, no matter what age they may be. If you find this difficult to do, stop and ask yourself what that tells you about your subconscious beliefs and assumptions about sexuality and affection. If sex is good, why hide it? Compare how you think about sex with how you think about arguing in front of your children and other people.
Lovers’ Time
We have already suggested that you set aside a two- to four-hour block of time each week for Tantra loving. You can also use some of that time or make other dates for non-sexual loving. The essential ingredient is love. During your lovers’ time, the two of you are the only event. You focus on: = Nourishing, strengthening, and enlivening your
relationship. = Reaffirming how absolutely fabulous your mate is.
Besides weekly dates, aim for overnights or weekends away every few months, especially if you have children. They’ll appreciate you more when you return and your escape to romance will recharge your parenting batteries.
Embracing Effort
“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made, like bread,
remade all the time, made new.”
—Ursula K. LeGuin
Creating love is something you learn to do. Long-term, sustainable, unconditional love does not just happen to you. In fact, learning how tocreate unconditional love would be part of the curriculum if you were studying for a Ph.D. in the art of loving. Earning a Ph.D. in anything takes a lot of effort—focused, continuous effort. Maybe you are not tough enough for love? Perhaps you do not want to take the time to learn? But if you choose not to, you will likely miss out on what may be the only way to make a relationship last in the long run, through all of life’s ups and downs, rewards and disappointments. You may forego growing old in passionate
Lovers’ Time
We have already suggested that you set aside a two- to four-hour block of time each week for Tantra loving. You can also use some of that time or make other dates for non-sexual loving. The essential ingredient is love. During your lovers’ time, the two of you are the only event. You focus on: = Nourishing, strengthening, and enlivening your
relationship. = Reaffirming how absolutely fabulous your mate is.
Besides weekly dates, aim for overnights or weekends away every few months, especially if you have children. They’ll appreciate you more when you return and your escape to romance will recharge your parenting batteries.
Embracing Effort
“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made, like bread,
remade all the time, made new.”
—Ursula K. LeGuin
Creating love is something you learn to do. Long-term, sustainable, unconditional love does not just happen to you. In fact, learning how tocreate unconditional love would be part of the curriculum if you were studying for a Ph.D. in the art of loving. Earning a Ph.D. in anything takes a lot of effort—focused, continuous effort. Maybe you are not tough enough for love? Perhaps you do not want to take the time to learn? But if you choose not to, you will likely miss out on what may be the only way to make a relationship last in the long run, through all of life’s ups and downs, rewards and disappointments. You may forego growing old in passionate
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